love & Loss

“Blessed be the longing that brought you here and quickens your soul with wonder.”

John O’Donohue

Fuji Dog

In the wake of loosing my beloved companion Fuji of 14+years, I am left in her void, the one we all know after a great loss… to contemplate all the ways she quickened my soul and brought joy to this world.

As John O’Donohue says in his book Anam Cara,“The Soul Adores Unity”.

In facing the void of death, the soul creates a bridge into the unseen.  In loss, we are invited to apprentice with the eternal being where all is united, and we have access to the unseen realm at this time of loss, more than our everyday consciousness might.  This is a time to gently tend to the heart and cultivate wisdom around the meaning and purpose of life.

“Wisdom is the way that you decipher the unknown; and the unknown is our closest companion.” 

And so it is, as the death of a beloved one creates a loving matrix of the void around you, and it is wise to welcome it. To settle in with the unknown, the unseen, and allow the soul to do its subtle yet powerful unifying work.  

“Your soul is the priestess of memory, selecting, sifting and ultimately gathering your vanishing days toward presence… literally re-membering (is always at work within you)…  Human solitude is rich and endlessly creative”.

I am grateful to have the wisdom to allow this solitude. This void is vast- this one that comes after loosing your constant companion (another body that follows your body every step of the way, providing grounding, love and comfort)  And, somehow I am deeply nourished by the transformative power it offers.  I am now learning to allow the unknown, the eternal, the soul to become my constant companion. 

This is the threshold of middle age, and this is my initiation into becoming Wise Woman.   My active mothering time is waning and the time of gathering wisdom and memory is upon me. This is the invitation as we age and begin to not only experience life’s adventures but loss, after loss, after loss… 

A dog never worries about it’s legacy or impact, or strives to be anyone other than who they are. In this simple yet profound life of beingness, they offer a place of soul remembrance for us all.  A spot of grass, a stick, a body of water, just your presence alone…  is all they need to create an entire afternoon of delight.  Over the past 14 years, Fuji taught me about soulful presence, of joyful beingness, clear boundaries around rest, and protecting that which is sacred, and about the noble act of being the soul of any place she stood.  She embodied belonging; a primal knowing within us all; and she shared this wisdom with all who communed with her.

“Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place”. Rumi

RIP Fuji July 7, 2009 - November 20, 2023

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I have written more about what Fuji taught me (there is so much) and I also have the details on how I prepared her for her final Rite of Passage ceremony.  I can make this available for those experiencing the loss of a pet; don't hesitate to reach out if you need support. It was my greatest honor to be her person, to tend to her life each day, and to honor her death in this sacred way.

Throughout her life and her death, I could trust my intuitive knowledge (animal communication) and provide for her with grace and trust. I stand in awe of that process, the grace, all that happened (and continues to happen) from the deep place of my soul and hers.

From the dark and luminous void of eternal being- All my Love, Sarah Ix’Chel - Fuji’s mom

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“Our luminous energy field is a gateway to the invisible matrix of wisdom where everything is intertwined, where every thought we have impacts every cell in our body and every molecule in the cosmos” -

Albert Villoldo