WELCOMING MYSELF HOME

I’m still deepening in with the beings of this new land, and in this new home, yet I feel it’s time to start, it is time to start sharing. It’s not about waiting til all is settled and tied up in a bow to open the doors of my soul through the flow of my pen. After all, it was the calling of becoming a writer, along with some other intuitions, that brought us here. I worked for over a decade as a sustainability and climate consultant. I was a hired “man hour” and reduced to a judgement by clients - was what we provided hour by hour worthwhile, or not? Well, more often than not it was not enough. It is now 2020, I am a guardian of the Earth, I am a birther of the new era, the Golden Dawn, which inherently operates in recognition of our interconnection to our living Earth and to all life. I am DONE with the “not enough” story. I had my fill and I wish not to pass this on any further. I wish to teach my children through my life, that we are offered each day a gift to be here, to be the voice of the Earth and our most beloved animal friends, and that the divine feminine (in all of her faces) has a place here. The past 12 years of my career, the field of sustainability has come a long way and there are many leaders doing great work trying to bring the systemic perspective of Gaia into the field. Unfortunately though, in many of these leading projects (world class climate action plans) She (our living Earth) gets reduced to a measurement of CO2 or GHG (greenhouse gas) and then technology becomes the focal point of the conversation. If we electrify and decarbonize, then we’ll be ok, right? But the paradigm of separation can then continue, we drive Teslas and we have solar + storage systems on our buildings, if we can afford them***, and we’re good? Does the net-zero pathway cure the underlying conditions that cause dominion-over all things? Not really, no. We are here to collaborate with the plants and other beings of this world, not to dominate over and abuse them. If we are net-zero (carbon emitters) are we then not going to abuse nature and allow the ego’s conquest for more, more, MORE? Does carbon free mean we are now true collaborators, living in fair exchange with ALL of our community members? I did not feel so; the climate plans I was writing for leading cities did not leave me with the feeling that we as a culture are shifting to the interconnected perspective that Gaia is dreaming for us at this time. Adopting a climate plan does not equal the thriving, erotic dream that Gaia has for us as humans called here at this time. So as a cog in that climate planning wheel, I experienced the reduction of myself in equal measure to the way that planning work was reducing Her. We wanted the climate changed or at least the numbers to show that their enterprise (City) was heading in the right direction. We wanted the dream laid out in the proposal without having to change too much about the power-over culture of the enterprise, it was a numbers game and I was a man-hour and if you know me, you know, I am so much more colorful than that. I appreciate every minute of the experiences I shared over the past decade on this path which allowed me to find myself here now, stepping into a new set of questions that allow me to more appropriately channel the depth of my love for Gaia.

The new chapter began on Winter Solstice (we closed on our new home on 12/20/19.) . Wow! We did it. We dreamt a dream of a better/different life and we made it happen; I offer so much deep gratitude for all the resources, support, and magic that had to come together to get to this moment. And - moving sucks. It is a death and birth all at once. The discomfort comes from so many levels of being undergoing profound change. Moving forces a new level of surrender when everything around you is new, old habits and strategies for coping simply do not work anymore. We, our family of four and our dog, now only have each other, we have the loving Earth and beings that have called us here, and we have love between us to guide us. There is great hope born amidst this transition, that we will shift the false narrative of separation, that we will live, truly embodying our gifts as divine-interconnected-human-beings. As we know from the moving experience, all of ourselves (minds, emotions, soul) will be initiated, and engaged in order to bring this dream from hope into 3-D reality. Each and every day living in a new town, we have freedom of choice and a clean slate. This clean slate, the extra space both literally and mentally (when you don’t know anyone there is a lot more space to just be) is something we longed for, and yet, it can be extremely uncomfortable. It is from this great and privileged place of discomfort in a lovely little town far far away, at the base of the Sierra Nevadas, I say hello, and thank you for reading along with me on this journey of rebirth. There is so much more to come (from my pen) and I feel so many meaningful connections and collaborations brewing in this great cauldron of space in which I sit, dreaming the Earths’ dream.